So... this is personal

[jasonleitch]

I've been so busy lately it's ridiculous, all I've been able to do is work and it's 30/30+C here and 20/25C at night, awwww the bludy timmme and it's not even summer yet!! It's far to warm for me to function most days. I'm in the midst of moving to Tennessee (I work there so it's a natural progression) this month so for those who do know me here I won't have internet until some time in June, have no fear, I haven't given up! I have downloaded a supply of TAIC and other materials to read over until then. I'll probably be back with a monster post lol considering all the questions that are likely to arise in my solitude.

Anyway. I've wanted to write this for a while now and this seems like the most appropriate place for it to end up. I don't know if it's the same for everyone, and like most things most peoples advice extends to "time heals" dot dot dot, because they don't know what to say after that. But i'm not interested in sympathy or advice, I just want a place for this to lie. Immigration has been hard for me. Tha mi à baile beag ann an Alba, Achadh nan Leac. It's not the best. I lived in Cumnog, most of my days anyway, then Inbhir Àir where my friends are. I'm just this random guy who is in a weird and slightly crazy situation. I've never had much, and I never came from much. But by god I miss Scotland so much. I miss the people most of all. Which ironically is the number one thing I hated about where I lived. A miss ma mer and ma brers, a miss ma pals, the caul, the banter, a chippy, a decent pint, telly. One thing I've noticed from being away, Scottish people are one of a kind, you never know where you belong until you leave it and I never thought I did but a dae, and I've found out the hard way. My accent is as thick as it comes, seriously, I spend all day with a clean English (or as close as we get) accent and still spend 50% of it repeating myself. I'm 24, I'm a Computer Science Major, my wife is American, and that is why I am here. I wanted to lean Gaidhlig before I left but for a CS major I acted pretty stupid and put it off.

I met my first Scottish guy here the other day. David was his name. I've been here for 8 months and it was the best 15 minutes conversation I've had since (Apart from my wife and family phone calls). The connection is completely different, infact, not completely different just not non-existent! I talk to people all day and for the life of me can't connect with any of them because it's not me, it's a watered down, I want to say, less Scottish version of myself. Some people don't need their nationality to define who they are and that's fine, but I do. The Scottish have a way with one another, from Dùn Èideann down at least, I'm sure it's different still in the Highlands. I guess what I'm trying to say is when you 24/7 have to be aware of how you conduct yourself, (not only aware, but change it, and never have the opportunity to really go back) it's exhausting. I left my entire life to come here, and it's really difficult.

One last thing, 2 years ago when I was here, I met an old Scottish couple at a Scottish Heritage Festival sort of thing, loads of yanks in kilts pretty much. He was in his mid 70s his wife her mid 60s. The guy had emigrated when he was 17, hadn't lost his Glesga accent in the slightest, and missed home everyday for almost 60 years, he was going home to live, and stay that year. I don't want to be that guy, and I don't want to wake up one day and realise I don't miss home.

So yea... not sure what now... When I go back home I will surround myself with Gaidhlig, however I can.


so this is me and my dad skippin stanes


this is just me


and again

I guess what I'm saying is... Hi, my names Jason, I plan on sticking around. I'll just brb... in a month.

[An Gobaire]

Uill, Jason. Gura math a thèid leat ann an Ameireaga. All the best for you in America.

Bha mi 8 bliadhna a' fuireach 's ag obair ann an Iapan. ( I lived and worked for 8 years in Japan)

Saoilidh mi gu bheil gu leòr de bhuill an fhòraim seo a' fuireach ann an dùthchannan cèin, mar sin, tha mi cinnteach gu bheil deagh fhios aig an fheadhainn ud air na faireachdainnean agad agus tha fhios gun do dh'fhairich mòran againn an cianalas uair no uaireigin.

I suppose there are plenty members of this foram living in distant countries, so, I am sure that those people know well how you feel and it goes without saying that many of us have felt homesickness at one time or another.

[sr3nitygirl]

I'm from Arbroath myself and have been here (Baltimore) for 14 years now.

Wish I could say that it gets easier, but it doesn't. I still miss Scotland terribly.

The sad thing is, the longer you stay here, the more difficult it becomes to leave and return home.

This is home now, inasmuch as it's where I live. I have friends here and other ties to Maryland that would as much a wrench to break now as it was to move here in the first place, except that when I moved here, it was for my job and at least I knew I had a way to make a living here. Going back, I wouldn't have that - I'd have to find work as a matter of urgency. That and I would probably have to rely on the good graces of family members with whom, over time, relations have been put to the test. Hardly the "Homecomming" I long for.

I can't tell you how often I'll take to Google street view just to vicariously visit home (its cheaper than flying), and speaking of visiting home, I last visited in 2000 - I haven't been back in 12 years because it'll simply be too expensive, or something else demands that money I would spend.

I was going to visit this year but as usual, reality intervened and made it a financial impossibility.

I'm not saying that I am unhappy here. I'm not, but it's not "home" and it never will be.
Few other lands maintain such a tight grip on the hearts of its children as Scotland...

In my case, it moves me to music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h4bdJLkT6I

[faoileag]

I have relatives and friends in New Zealand who write almost identical things to me. Work took them there, family keeps them.

There's a lovely Gaelic word for home-sickness, expressing longing, yearning, sadness - cianalas.

Tha an cianalas orm - I'm homesick - homesickness has befallen me.

It comes from the adjective cian = distant, remote.


You probably know the Bruce Springsteen song, Born to Run?

Runrig borrowed the phrase

"cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run"

from it, and changed it in their song Roadtrip:

Cause baby tramps like us were born with the cianalas

http://youtu.be/LPx39D0E-Z8

[GunChleoc]

Faodaidh e bhith doirbh mura h-eil an seòrsa de fhealla-dhà a tha aig muinntir an àite a' còrdadh riut.

It can be difficult if you don't get along with the type of humour people have.

I can imagine a bit of Glesga humour won't go over too well in the States

[Jimmie]

Bréagha agus muladach! While most Scottish descendants here, especially in Southern states are pretty content with the redneck status quo, chances are there'll be that nerdy grandson 300 years from now, growing up around native people in and around Oklahoma, admiring them keeping their languages and cultures going best they can, some are still very quick to remind us that this isn't originally our land. In the back of his mind, knowing Alba originally was our land! What happened?! Guma math a dh'éireas dhut!