Ciamar a shiubhlas mi a dh’ Alba - How to Travel to Scotland
Samhradh 2008 - Summer 2008
DiArdaoin, 17mh an t-Iuchar
Ciamar a bhreabas mi boireannach
Faigh bus gus a’ phort-adhair
Teich air boireannach fo lighe cùbhraigheachd agus faigh dachaigh ùr anns a’ chiad shreath
Cuir farmad air draibhear fhaighneachail (“Tha sinn a’ dol a dh’Alba!”) am feadh 's tu a’ gabhail glug aidhair ùr cho luath ’s a ghabhas gach turas a bhios an doras a’ fosgladh
Cuir seachad ùine no dhà aig port-adhair Amsterdam a’ coimhead air na bùithtean
Gabh fadachd liosta màirnealach agus coimhead air na bùithtean a-rithist
Na caill am bùth aodaich is cuimhneachan agus brògan maide is muilleannan-gaoithe is tuiliopan gu lèor ann
Breab le do chas ri bonn boireannaich air a còmhdach le aodach gann is duineachan a th’ innte is tu air an rathad chun an roinn aodaich
Thoir beachd air a’ bhugair na croiche a tha ’san rathad ort gu dranndanach
Breab le do chas ri bonn boireannaich air a còmhdach le aodach gann is duineachan a th’ innte is tu a’ tilleadh do na muilleannan-gaoithe
Bi a’ gàire gu do chùlaibh
Thursday, July 17
How to bonk a lady
Take bus to airport
Fleeing from a perfume doused lady, take up residence in front row
Make curious bus driver green with envy (We're going to Scotland!) in between hasty gulps of fresh air each time she opens the door
While away a couple of hours at Amsterdam airport window shopping
Be bored out of your skull and browse the shops some more
Don't miss the souvenir and clothes shop: wooden clogs, windmills and tulips galore
Bonk with your foot against the base of a scantily clad mannequin while walking over to the clothes section
Make snappy comment about the bloomin' thing being in the way
Bonk with your foot against the base of the scantily clad mannequin on the way back to the windmills
Ma tha thu airson "lady" a "bhonkadh", feumaidh tu dìnnear a cheannaich air a shon. As déidh sin, feumaidh tu faighnich do a athair ma b' urrainn dhuit ga posadh, 's as déidh sin faighnich don "lady" fhéin.
Cha bhi thu a' "bonkadh" "lady" ro oichche na bhanais!
Just to be clear, for GunChleoc, "bonk" has several meanings. If you say "He bonked me on the head," it means "He hit me on the head." There is an expression from North American wrestling called a "cocoa-bonk", when two wrestlers hit their heads together.
However, when someone says "He's bonking her," it means he's having sex with her.
